This isn’t about quick fixes or white-knuckling your way through urges. The Unstuck Way teaches practical skills for riding out urges, regulating emotions, and building a life that no longer revolves around PMO.
If you’ve been stuck in the same loop for a while:
Being stuck doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It usually means the approach hasn’t matched how change actually works.
Most men who feel stuck with PMO aren’t lacking discipline. They’ve just been taught the wrong approach.
The usual advice focuses on eliminating urges, avoiding triggers, or forcing yourself to resist. That works for a while, until it doesn’t. Then the cycle repeats.
The Unstuck Way is built around a different idea: urges don’t need to disappear for change to happen. What matters is learning how to respond to them.
Instead of fighting urges or trying to suppress them, you learn how to pause, slow things down physically, and choose deliberately — even when things feel intense. Over time, that changes your relationship to urges and emotions altogether.
You’re not trying to be perfect. You’re learning a skill. And like any skill, it gets easier with practice.
You won’t walk away with rules, streaks, or motivation tricks. You’ll build practical skills for handling urges and emotions as they actually show up in your life. Over time, you learn how to pause instead of reacting automatically, ride out urges without fighting them, and recover more quickly when things don’t go perfectly. The goal isn’t to eliminate urges or discomfort. It’s to handle them without letting them run your life — and that’s what makes change stick.
We slow things down and look at what’s actually happening. What triggers you. What emotions are driving the loop. Where past approaches broke down. The goal isn’t insight for its own sake. It’s understanding where choice keeps collapsing so we know what to work on.
This is the core of the work. You practice pausing when urges hit, slowing things down physically before reacting, naming urges instead of obeying them, and riding them out without trying to make them disappear. Over time, you learn how to choose based on values rather than impulse, using real situations you’re dealing with — not hypotheticals.
Change doesn’t come from one good week. It comes from repetition. Over time, urges feel less urgent, emotional spikes are easier to handle, and slips don’t turn into spirals. PMO stops being the default response. The goal isn’t perfect behavior. It’s a better response, practiced consistently — and that’s what leads to lasting change.
I work with you one-on-one over a few months, usually somewhere between 3 and 12, depending on where you’re starting and what else is going on in your life. We meet regularly for coaching sessions, use short check-ins when needed, and you can reach out between sessions when things get rough. The work itself is simple but not easy: we keep practicing the same core sequence — pause, steady yourself, notice what’s happening, and choose deliberately — in real situations, over and over, until it starts to feel natural. That’s how urges lose their grip and real change sticks.
Accountability and filters try to control behavior from the outside. This approach works from the inside out. You learn how to pause, slow things down physically, and choose deliberately when urges hit — so change holds even when no one’s watching.
That’s often a sign the approach didn’t match how change actually works, especially under stress. This work focuses on building better responses when things don’t go smoothly, which is where most methods break down.
No. There’s no moral grading here and no expectation that you should be “further along.” We work with what’s actually happening right now and build skills from there.
Most men meet weekly, with short check-ins as needed. Meaningful change usually takes time — often somewhere between 3 and 12 months, depending on the situation. The goal isn’t speed, it’s sustainability.
The first step is a short call to talk through where you’re stuck, what you’ve tried, and whether this approach makes sense for you. No pitch — just a clear conversation.
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