What is this approach actually based on?

This work isn’t based on motivation, moral pressure, or what happened to work for one person. It’s grounded in evidence-based models of behavior change, neuroscience, and graduate-level study of addiction and compulsive behavior.

The focus is on learning practical skills for responding differently when urges and emotions show up — not trying to eliminate them or overpower them. Those skills are what hold up under stress, which is where most approaches break down.

How is this different from accountability groups or filters?

Accountability groups and filters try to control behavior from the outside. That can help for a while, but it often falls apart when accountability slips or urges hit hard.

This work focuses on what’s happening inside — how you respond to urges, stress, boredom, and discomfort in real time. Instead of relying on pressure or restriction, you learn skills for pausing, slowing things down, and choosing deliberately. That’s why the change lasts even when no one is watching.

What if I’ve already tried everything and nothing worked?

That’s one of the most common reasons men reach out.

In most cases, it’s not that you didn’t try hard enough. It’s that you were given tools that don’t match how change actually works — especially under stress. If your past efforts relied on willpower, avoidance, or perfect behavior, it makes sense that they eventually fell short.

This approach is different because it trains how to respond when things don’t go smoothly.

Will I be judged for where I’m at?

No.

There’s no moral grading here, and no expectation that you “should be further along.” We work with where you are right now — not where you think you’re supposed to be.

The goal isn’t to impress anyone. It’s to build skills that work in your actual life.

Is this just another religious or shame-based program?

No.

This work isn’t religious, moral, or shame-driven. There’s no language about purity, failure, or being broken. Shame might show up — because it often does — but it’s not used as a motivator.

The focus is on understanding what’s happening and learning better responses, not trying to fix yourself through guilt.

Is this going to be awkward or weird?

It might feel unfamiliar at first, but it’s not performative or forced.

You don’t have to share anything you’re not ready to share, and there’s no pressure to talk in a certain way. Most men are surprised by how quickly the awkwardness fades once the focus shifts from confession to practical work.

Is this therapy?

No. This is coaching.

We’re not doing diagnosis, treatment plans, or digging endlessly into the past. The focus is on skill-building, practice, and applying what you’re learning in real situations.

That said, many of the tools overlap with therapeutic models, just applied in a more practical, day-to-day way.

How much time does this take, and how long does it usually last?

Most men meet weekly for coaching sessions, with short check-ins as needed and support between sessions.

In terms of duration, meaningful change usually takes a few months, and for some men longer — often somewhere between 3 and 12 months, depending on where you’re starting and what you’re dealing with.

This isn’t about rushing. It’s about building something that lasts.

What happens if I fall off track?

Falling off track isn’t treated as failure.

We don’t reset progress, punish slips, or spiral into shame. We look at what happened, identify where the response broke down, adjust the skill set, and keep going.

That’s how learning works — and it’s how confidence actually builds.

What if I’m not addicted, just tired of the habit?

You don’t need a label for this to be helpful.

Whether you think of it as addiction, a habit, or a coping pattern, the work is the same: learning how to respond differently when urges and emotions show up.

If PMO has become something you keep returning to even when you don’t want to, this approach applies.

Will this help me if my partner doesn’t know I’m struggling?

Yes.

You don’t need to involve anyone else for this work to be effective. The focus is on what’s happening internally and how you respond. That said, we can talk through how and when to have those conversations if that becomes important later.

Nothing is forced.

Is this confidential?

Yes.

What you share stays private. There’s no group reporting, no public accountability, and no pressure to disclose anything outside the work.

How much does this cost?

Sessions are $185 each.

That reflects the structure of the work — weekly coaching sessions, short check-ins as needed, and support between sessions — and the level of attention involved. There are no packages to upsell and no long-term contracts.

We’ll talk through what working together would look like on the first call, and you can decide whether it makes sense for you.

What’s the first step?

The first step is a short call where we talk about where you’re stuck, what you’ve already tried, and whether this approach is a good fit.

There’s no pitch. Just a real conversation and a clearer sense of what moving forward would look like.